Anonymous Story: I Was Raped
It was our company party. I got drunk, but I did not do that on purpose, I tried to sober up but everyone was having fun so I ended up drinking more. I can still remember some things that day. I asked my coworker (Let’s call him CM) for assistance. He’s my friend. And I trusted him because he is also a Christian pastor in our church. He is way older than me, too. He has family of his own. My best friend (who was not there at the party) reminded me to go with kuya CM if I needed a ride home.
I can still remember when we walked to go to the parking lot, and I puked outside, and we went to my place. That’s when I started to fall asleep because I knew I was safe and I was already in my bed. I can’t remember everything that happened. I just woke up a little and he’s starting to kiss me, and then I fell asleep again, then I woke up again and he’s removing my clothes. And I was just slipping away, because I was so tired and drunk and sleepy at that time. I woke up again and he’s raping me. I don’t know why I did not react, I just slept again.
Then after that, he put back my clothes and he went out. That’s when I started crying and realizing what just happened. Then he came back, he brought water. And I kept on crying. My best friend called me, but I couldn’t tell him what happened because CM was still there. Then, when I calmed down a bit, CM left and went back to the party. I was so scared that it really happened. That I was raped. By someone I knew. By a Christian pastor.
At first, I was confused and wondering if I was really raped or did I agree on having sex with him. But I know, I didn’t want either of the two. I tried to find out what happened, so I asked CM a couple of days after the incident. I acted like I didn’t remember anything just to know if he would lie. And he did. But when I insisted, he told me that he thinks I know what happened and I liked what happened because I kissed him back. But I really don’t remember kissing him back. Until now, I haven’t told anyone about it and I’m just thinking that it was a bad dream. It happened last month, April 27.
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